“Why didn’t you turn it in?”
Kendall’s “Completion Anxiety”
Meet Kendall (not her real name).
She's the kind of student who will articulate, with impressive clarity, exactly why she needs systems and organization in her life.
"Of course I need to write things down," she'll tell you. "Otherwise how would I remember what's due?"
She gets it; common sense isn't the issue. I would trust her to give a TED talk on executive function.
But something fascinating happens between that understanding and implementation. It sometimes informally called “completion anxiety.” Da Vinci famously suffered from this, as did Darwin.
She doesn’t turn it in! The final step - actually submitting work - becomes this peculiar stumbling block.
Jason’s “Planning Fallacy”
Then there's Jason (not his real name).
Like Kendall, he can explain exactly what needs to be done and why it matters. But where Kendall gets caught in perfectionism, Jason finds satisfaction in the planning itself.
He'll happily spend twenty minutes mapping out his homework schedule - "I'll do math from 4:00 to 5:30 after basketball practice, then start the history reading..." The planning energizes him. It feels like progress.
But … it doesn’t quite work.
Jason rarely anticipates what might derail his carefully crafted schedule. He doesn't account for fatigue after practice, or the allure of his phone, or the simple fact that sometimes we just don't feel like doing what we planned. The gap between his detailed plans and actual execution keeps widening.
It’s the planning fallacy.
Understanding Different Patterns
For Kendall, submission stalls because of an endless loop of revision - could it be better? Yes. I’ll make it better.
Kendall’s plight reminds me of the classic Ira Glass quote on taste -
“For [a while] when you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. ”
"I'll submit it once I check it one more time.” The assignment sits in a kind of limbo - technically done but effectively incomplete.
The very pressure of caring so much about quality makes the final step harder.
Jason's pattern is different.
He gets genuine satisfaction from creating schedules and systems. He speaks with force, and clarity, about what he wants. You leave feeling pretty convinced he’s onto something.
But this planning energy rarely translates into consistent action. When 4:00 comes around, the reality of starting work feels disconnected from the satisfaction he felt while planning it.
Different kids, different patterns, same result - not turning stuff in. So what do we do?
Establishing Some Simple Principles
Success looks different for each student, but some principles remain constant:
You need SOME kind of structure
Create explicit routines that remove decision points. Kendall doesn't decide whether to submit - it's automatic upon completion. Jason doesn't decide when to start - 4:00 means work begins, period.
Do a pre-mortem!
Pre-mortems are fun. You try to guess what could go wrong - what, in Jason’s case, might block him from actually seeing through his 4 to 5:30 plan. They were brought to life by Daniel Kahneman’s Thinking Fast and Slow.
The Great Danny Kahneman. Source.
For a lot of kids, they need someone (not mom or dad) to check in with
Brief daily check-ins help catch assignments before they enter limbo. These aren't about judgment but about support and problem-solving.
Create a sanctuary
Set up spaces and systems that make success more likely. This might mean a distraction-free workspace for Kendall to avoid perfectionist rabbit holes, or strategic phone placement for Jason to make his plans more actionable.
Get some wins on the board … and celebrate them
Notice your teen doing a good job. Celebrate the small wins. They compound over time into lasting habits.
